You always hurt the ones you love
by uesgirl
Summary: Jenny has lost everything that she had except for Nate... This is the time to take risks, this is the time to fall in love, the time to make mistakes and learn from them, and then make even bigger mistakes. This is the time to find your true self. This is the time to be passionate and broken... Set after 2x08. The pairings: N/J and a little bit of N/V.
1. Happiness hit her

**Spoiler: The first two chapters are EXACTLY the same as the TV series, so if you don't really want to read the exact same thing that you saw on the TV, I would suggest you to simply just skip those two :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the characters featured in this story.**

**I really, really hope that you enjoy reading this story just as much as I enjoy writing it. And of course I will love and appreciate every single review - positive or negative :)**

* * *

Jenny ran out on the street when she just couldn't hold it in any longer.

„How could you do that to me?" she yelled as she angrily looked at Nate. She turned around and started walking away from him. How could he invade her private life? She's not a little girl, she could do whatever she wanted to.

„What are you talking about? You're lucky I showed up when I did," Nate didn't understand why Jenny was being so overly dramatic.

„What?" Jenny shrilled in shock. She turned around to face Nate.

„That was a bad scene, Jenny," Nate tried to explain himself. All he wanted to do was to protect her but she just didn't seem to get it.

„No, it wasn't! We were dancing in our underwear not making a porno!" Jenny was seriously irritated. She was yelling right into Nate's face.

„Not yet, anyway!" Nate's tone of voice increased as he raised his shoulders and expanded his arms.

„No, not ever," Jenny rapidly lowered her hand, reinforcing the negative response: „I would never let myself get in a situation like that, I know what I'm doing, Nate," she slowly began to lower her tone of voice, looking Nate right in the eye.

„I know you think you do," Nate leaned in a little bit: „That guy was taking advantage of you," he pointed his hand to the building, from which they had both just came out.

„You're not my father and you're not my brother, so why do you care so much?" Jenny sharply shook her both palms in front of her chest, listing the two options.

„Because..." Nate said in a calm tone, almost sighing.

Jenny looked into Nate's eyes, she didn't even really think about what she was doing. She was under the influence of the moment and kissed Nate on his lips. The kiss wasn't too long, it did feel right and Nate's lips were unbelievably soft and tender, but she drew back to see Nate's reaction.

Jenny was holding her hands, that she had just removed from Nate's face, in front of her chest, waiting for Nate's reaction. He shook his head almost imperceptibly and sighed. Nate looked into Jenny's eyes and it seemed like he didn't know what to say, but from his facial expression Jenny drew that he wasn't really feeling the same way.

She sighed and turned around, ready to leave, but Nate almost immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. He put his palm on Jenny's cheek and started kissing her.

His kiss wasn't short, nor it was unsure. Nate kissed her, like he didn't have any doubht about what he was doing. Jenny was moving her palms from Nate's face to his shoulders, crumpling his striped shirt, while Nate was exploring Jenny's back with his strong arms. She felt safe in his arms, Jenny wished for Nate's grimp never to relax. But it did...

Jenny was slowly opening her eyes as she was trying to start breathing evenly again. Nate's palms were still holding her face, when she looked him in the eye.

„You kissed me," she said, trying to believe what she had just experienced.

„I guess, I did," Nate said, while he was smiling at Jenny. It was hard for him, too, to believe what had just happened. He felt a little bit guilty about kissing his friends little sister, especially after Dan has had offered him a place where to live.

„So, I guess, that answers my question," Jenny thought out loud, more to herself as an aswer, than as a question for Nate.

„Let's go home," Nate said, while rubbing Jenny's naked arms: „It's getting pretty cold out here."

They didn't say a single word to each other, during the cab ride home to the Humphrey's loft in Brooklyn. Jenny was leaning her head on Nate's shoulder, with his arm around her body, as Nate was looking at her beautiful blue eyes. He had no idea how much trouble he had caused himself. Feeling Jenny close to him was all he cared about.

**PLEASE REVIEW, THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME :)**


	2. How far we've come

**This and the next chapter are still going to be retellings of the episode 2x09, then I'll start with the fan fiction :) I hope you'll like it.**

**Disclamier: I do not own Gossip Girl's plot or the characters featured in this fan fiction.**

* * *

"We are going to blow them away," Agnes enthusiastically announced, with an emphasis on "blow".

Jenny laughed sarcastically, knowing how much work and how little time was left until the fashion show.

"We better, otherwise, I am so dead," Jenny said sewing the last pieces.

She looked at the time. Jenny knew that there wasn't much time left to finish everything up, but there practically was no time left, considering, how much of that time they needed just to get dressed. "Dude, have you seen the time?" Jenny turned her head to Agnes and back to the sewing machine.

"At least your brother and the lounger went to go see a movie," Agnes said, putting in order the finished dresses on the hanger.

"That's Nate avoiding me, once again," Jenny said as if it wasn't anything important.

"He's still acting like he didn't stick his tongue down your throat?" Agnes was surprised.

"Yeah, ew!" Jenny thought that Nate was acting really weird.

"Well, amnesia doesn't really happen, until after sex with guys, so what's his problem?" Agnes was still managing the dresses.

"I don't know," Jenny sighed, thinking about all the possible reasons. "He used to date Vanessa, I'm Dan's little sister, too young," Jenny listed. "I wouldn't know, we don't talk," Jenny said indifferently.

"So what? After tonight you'll be so famous, you'll have ten Nate Archibalds," Agnes gesticulated with her hands.

"Yeah, except I only want the one," Jenny said, looking a little bit disappointed.

"Ok, fine. Then you have to make the move," Agnes explained. "That's the only way it's gonna work."

"Oh my God, is it the time?" Agnes was shocked.

"I told you," Jenny reminded.

"Ok, yeah. You need to sew way faster, cuz' we are so screwed," Agnes leaned for the bag of cloth, "Ready or not, we're putting on a fashion show!"

* * *

Dan opened the loft door with Nate following him. They both froze at the door when they saw Agnes pushing a clothes rack.

"Jenny, c'mon! The van is almost here. Eleanor is going to kill herself after tonight." Agnes was extremely excited. She saw Nate and Dan as Jenny was walking out of her room.

"I know, I just have a few more things to do," Jenny was looking down while pushing the cabinet, loaded with different stuff, for the fashion show. She stopped when she raised her head.

"Dan!" her brother had caught her by the surprise, "What are you doing here?" Jenny didn't seem too happy to see him.

She looked down at her feet feeling busted.

* * *

"You quit Eleanor's?" Dan was shocked.

"I had to," Jenny tried to explain herself. "She was using me."

"D-does dad know about that?" Dan stuttered. "No, of course dad doesn't know. What am I saying," he answered his own question. It was obvious that dad had no idea about this whole thing. "You haven't been shipped off to a convent, yet," Dan was really angry with his little sister.

Nate tried to calm him down by putting his hand on Dan's chest, trying to get his attention off of Jenny.

"Hey Dan, just take it easy," Nate said very quietly, almost whispering.

"Look, I'm sorry Nate, but this is none of your business," Dan made Nate realize that this is not an appropriate moment to intervene.

Nate stepped back and crossed his hands in front of his chest.

"Dan, I promise, I'll tell dad everything tomorrow. I just… I really need tonight. I've worked so hard," Jenny was trying to persuade her brother.

"For what? What is this?" Dan tried to look under the covering that was over the clothes rack.

"Stop!" Jenny yelled at him. "We're putting on a guerilla fashion show."

"I don't know what that means," Dan was a little bit confused.

"Ok," Jenny calmed down. "These dresses – I made them. An-and Agnes and her friends are gonna model," Jenny was hoping for Dan to let her leave for the fashion show.

"Please, Dan. Tonight's the one chance. I have to show everybody what I can do," Jenny was begging.

Nate took a look at Jenny; he swallowed his slobber and then took a look at Dan.

Dan had no idea what to do. He sighed when Agnes came out of the dining room area talking on her phone.

"I swear, if the van's not here in ten minutes, you're not getting those photos of me," she said and shut her phone. "Are we busted now or what?"

Jenny looked at Dan, he still wasn't saying anything.

"Dan, please. I just need a few hours and then I'll tell dad everything," Jenny was starting to lose hope.

Dan was nodding his head, thinking about what to say. He sighed and finally said something.

"Alright, I-I, I just need to think," Dan showed with his hand, for Jenny to stay where she was, and went to look for his dad and Vanessa.

* * *

"Jenny, you should wait for Dan," Nate said as he was opening the door and stepping out on the street.

"No, there's no time," Jenny was worried that she wouldn't make it on time. She turned to Nate, "This is my one chance. I have to prove that I can be a designer," she insisted, "Otherwise, it's back to being Little J at Constance," she looked and Nate right in the eye, "Except, worst this time, cuz' everyone's gonna know I failed."

"And since when are you so worried," Jenny was angry with Nate, "You haven't spoken two words to me all week."

She turned around and gave Agnes a grey suitcase. Nate's mood swings were starting to drive her crazy.

"Whoa, careful guys, that's couture," Agnes pointed out when a guy was loading the dresses in the van.

Jenny was opening the van's door when Nate ran up to her, "Jenny, c'mon! I mean, you know it's complicated." Nate was trying to explain himself, looking Jenny right in the eye.

Jenny came closer to Nate and checked him with her eyes. "If you really care about me, prove it!" She said in a firm tone of voice, "Come with me."

"Maybe I should drive," Nate sighed and closed the door after Jenny had stepped in to the van. He went around the van and saw Rufus, Dan and Vanessa walking down the street to their direction. He jumped in to the van and stepped on the gas.

**DROP A REVIEW ;) IT WON'T HURT YOU, I PROMISE :))**


	3. With you by my side

**I hope that you like this chapter. This is the last retelling of 2x09 with my own little twist at the end. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters featured in this story.**

* * *

"My God, you're shaking," Nate saw Jenny's arms trembling at her sides.

"Yeah, I didn't… I didn't know that Lily and Bart were getting an award," Jenny was starting to get serious doubts about what she was about to do, "And I'm about to ruin the night of people who've only been nice to me Nate," Jenny was throwing her glance from Nate to the side. She had no idea what to do; her conscience was taking over her mind.

"Then just forget about it. You don't have to go through with it. There are other ways…" Nate was trying to calm Jenny down when she stood in front of him.

"No, have you not heard anything I've said Nate?" Jenny had come too far to back down, "This is it! Tonight's all I have. I don't even know…" Jenny's monologue broke when Nate suddenly kissed her.

Jenny was starting to get confused. Is he always like this? One moment they're just talking and then suddenly he's pressing his soft lips against hers. She had no idea what to expect from this. The last time that he kissed her, he then didn't speak to her for a week, but right now she needed Nate more than anyone else. She just couldn't let that happen.

Nate's palm softly landed on Jenny's face when she gave in and threw her arms around his neck.

Nate's lips were open when he didn't know what to say. They were both just standing there and looking in each other's eyes.

"You kissed me again," Jenny whispered.

"I know," Nate sighed. That was all he was able to say, he was starting to confuse himself.

"So, does that mean you don't regret last week?" Jenny's question was full with hopes for him to say no.

"No, I guess not," Nate sighed looking down. He then took a glance at Jenny and gave her the sweetest smile ever.

Jenny's bright red lips were smiling back at Nate. He put his hand on Jenny's shoulder and looked into her eyes.

"Jenny whatever you decide, I'm with you," something in Nate's heart was telling him to stand by her side till the very end.

"Ok," Jenny said in a sweet tone.

She sighed with a big smile on her lips and turned around to go find Agnes. Nate blew out a breath, he didn't even realize, he was holding.

He was getting deeper and deeper into Jenny's mess.

* * *

"You two go." Vanessa said as Dan was checking out Gossip Girl, "I'll stay here in case if they come back."

Dan just couldn't believe it. He had just seen Nate kissing his little sister on Gossip Girl. How could he do something like that?

"What is it?" Rufus was coming closer to Dan, to take a look over his shoulder at the laptop.

"Gossip Girl. They're at the Palace," Dan announced to his father.

"Let me see," Rufus was trying to take a peek at the screen when Dan suddenly closed his laptop.

"There's nothing to see. Let's just go, let's get out of here, now," Dan angrily grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. Rufus was following Dan, leaving Vanessa behind.

* * *

Nate was coming out of the corner, fixing his cufflinks, when he saw Dan coming towards him.

"Dan hey," Nate greeted Dan in a friendly tone when suddenly Dan's face filled with rage.

He grabbed Nate by his suit's collar and pushed him against the marble column right behind Nate's back.

"What are you doing?" Nate asked as he was being pushed to the column.

"What am I doing?" Dan raised his eyebrows, "What are you doing?" he shook Nate, still holding him by his collar. Dan pulled the cell phone out of his pocket and pointed it at Nate.

"Or is that not you with my fifteen year old sister?" Dan yelled at Nate showing him a picture on Gossip Girl.

"Okay, whoa, whoa just calm down," Nate raised his palm in front of Dan's face.

"We took you into our house Nate!" Dan wasn't even about to calm down.

"Look Dan it's not like I planned on it alright?" Nate finally pushed Dan away from him, "Okay things just happen. I'm sorry. Come on, she's a sophomore, I'm a senior. Don't act like I'm some creepy older guy."

"No, you're the guy who traded sex for money," Dan pushed Nate back to the column.

Nate took a pause. How did Dan know about that? He sighed when he realized the answer to his own question.

"My god, Vanessa…" Nate looked down, being ashamed in front of Dan.

"It's amazing I don't want you with my little sister," Dan said in a steady tone.

"Okay, look, I'm sorry I didn't say anything about Jenny, okay?" Nate put his hand on Dan's shoulder, which Dan immediately brushed off his shoulder, "But you have no right to judge me." Nate said.

Dan sighed. Nate was right, he had no right to judge him, but still, Nate had no right to mess with his little sister.

"Where is she?" Dan asked.

"I don't even know, she went off to find Agnes," Nate explained.

Dan turned around ready to leave when Nate spoke.

"Do you want me to come help you find her?" Nate offered Dan his help.

"No, I don't want your help," Dan raised his palm in front of his chest, "I want you to pack up your stuff and get out of our house."

* * *

After Jenny had met Nate in the hallway and found out that Dan and Rufus are here she was even more nervous, especially because Dan knew about her and Nate. She knew that Dan must be furious with both; her and Nate.

Jenny was standing in front of the stereo control waiting for the show to start. Her only relief was knowing, that was there for her, even after Dan had told him to leave.

"Good evening. May I have your attention please?" A male's voice was sounding loud and clear just around the corner. "Thank you. As head of the New York's Philanthropic Society, presenting this award is my favorite duty. Please join me in congratulating Lily and Bart Bass."

Jenny heard applause starting in the salon behind the wall she was standing. She took the last glance at the guy who was in charge of the technical part of her fashion show. It's now or never.

* * *

Nate walked in the salon looking for Jenny. She wasn't there, so that means she's actually doing this. Nate took a look around the salon and saw Dan and Rufus. He could barely hear what they were talking from where he was standing.

"Did you find her?" Rufus asked. He looked really concerned.

"No," Dan answered.

Nate concentrated on the man presenting the award. "Lily and Bart Bass have funded the construction of clinics and hospitals in Equatorial Guinea, Sri Lanka…"

Suddenly the lights when out and there was a technical noise. People started whispering confused about what was going on. The screens in the salon went blank and after a second they said "Introducing J Humphrey Designs."

Loud music started playing when Nate saw models in black raincoats started walking down the hall. They took them off and exposed Jenny's dresses. They were quirky and unusual, just like Jenny. The models climbed on the tables and started throwing around Polaroid pictures, moving to the rhythm of music.

Jenny came out from the back of the wall, stepping into the salon. Everything looked perfect. She actually did it; she put on a guerilla fashion show. Jenny couldn't believe it. That was simply amazing.

Jenny looked at Nate waiting for his reaction. He gave Jenny a big smile. He was actually surprised how good everything looked. Jenny smiled back at Nate.

Jenny distracted her frown from Nate when she saw Agnes running down the hall doing the big finale.

Agnes climbed on the center table and started slivering the champagne glasses on the table, kicking them with her shoes.

Everything really did look perfect. Jenny was really proud of herself. She looked at Nate and he was thinking the same thing. It was written all over his flawless face.

Jenny jumped in rapture and ran to Nate. She jumped in his open arms and kissed him.

"It looks great," Nate was impressed.

"Thank you!" Jenny said in an exalted tone of voice.

They both laughed in delight and Nate hugged Jenny.

"You did it, you actually did it," Nate whispered in her ear.

"We did it," Jenny gave Nate the most charming smile, "Thanks for standing by my side."

Jenny felt someone grabbing her hand, so she turned around and saw her father. His facial expression was hard to explain. There was anger, disappointment, confusion and a million other things in his eyes that were pointed at Jenny.

"I hope you're happy now," he said. "I've lost the last piece of respect I had for you, Jenny."

Rufus started dragging Jenny out of the salon holding her arm.

"Jenny!" Nate yelled when she looked at him.

"Nate, this is none of your business," Rufus said, "I trusted you, Nate," he gave him a look full of disappointment.

"Nate has nothing to do with this dad," Jenny yelled at her father and pulled her arm out of his clasp.

Jenny took Nate's palm in hers and turned around. All she wanted to do was get out of this building.

"If you leave this room you can go," Rufus swallowed hard and opened his lips to finish the sentence, "For good. Seriously Jenny I'm done, I'm just done," he sounded defeated.

"Dad," Dan had just came up to them. He tried to bring his father back to his senses.

"No Dan, this is it. I'm too tired of fighting her. I'm not going to hold her any longer, if she wants to leave, so be it," Rufus sighed.

Jenny couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her father's mouth. Suddenly, she and Nate both had became homeless. She squeezed Nate's hand and looked up at him. Nate didn't know what to say, suddenly he felt like he had ruined everything. If only he hadn't kissed Jenny that night, if only he hadn't done the same thing tonight ending up on Gossip Girl, if only he would've stopped her from putting on this fashion show. Nate felt like he had ripped her family apart.

Jenny didn't say anything, she turned around and started walking away with Nate by her side, feeling her dad's burning look on her body. She sobbed and felt her eyes getting watery. She was strong and she had expected her father's reaction to be harsh, but this was more than she could handle.

Nate felt Jenny's body shaking. He kissed her forehead and brought her closer to him. Nate felt like the weight of the entire world was on his shoulders. He couldn't run and hide, he had to be a man for Jenny. He had no one that he could turn to and obviously Chuck wasn't an option because of Jenny. Nate knew that he'll have to swallow his pride. His grandfather was his last hope.

**PLEASE REVIEW :)**

**I need to know what I'm doing right and what my biggest mistakes are, besides, reviews are a great motivation.**


	4. Moving in the dark

**I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update, but I've been really busy with school lately and my health isn't really at the best point possible :(**

**I will try to update more often, I promise :)**

******Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters featured in this story.**

* * *

Nate looked at Jenny with a self-conscious smile on his lips. The porter put his hand on the beautiful golden door handle, and Nate looked at the white door with a golden number "1845" on it. When the porter opened the door, a beautiful room revealed to Nate and Jenny's eyes.

"Please come in sir," The porter welcomed Nate in the room.

"Thank you," Nate smiled at the porter and squeezed Jenny's palm. He walked into the room holding her hand.

"Is there anything else I could do for you sir?" the porter asked, putting Nate's bags on the floor.

"No, thank you," Nate gave the porter a small tip and closed the doors after he'd left.

Jenny put her only bag on the floor and let go of Nate's hand. She felt like she had taken something away from Nate. Right now he could be with his mother in Hamptons. Nate had already enough problems to worry about. He didn't have to take care of her. Nate even turned to his grandfather for help; he completely gave up his pride just to take care of her. Deep down inside Jenny felt guilty for dragging Nate along in her mess.

Jenny walked to the coach and sat down on it. She didn't say a word, when suddenly; she covered her face with her shaking hands and started sobbing.

"Jenny what's wrong?" Nate was shocked. He ran to Jenny and sat down next to her, holding her in his arms.

Jenny shook her head and didn't say anything. She raised her head to look Nate in the eye. Her make-up was ruined, black mascara was running down her pink cheeks and her eye shadow was smudged under her blue eyes.

"Jenny…" Nate sighed when he saw all the emotions in Jenny's eyes. She looked so helpless. Nate pressed her head against his shoulder and started rhythmically stroking her hair. He kissed the top of her head and put his free arm around her body.

Jenny locked her arms around Nate's waist and slowly started to calm herself down. She lied in Nate's arms for a little while and then sat up straight, brushing off Nate's hands.

"How did everything get so messed up?" Jenny murmured, shaking her head lightly. She couldn't look Nate in the eye; she just looked up at the ceiling and started to dry her eyes.

"I definitely look like a mess right now," Jenny said, her voice shaking. She was trying to wipe the make-up away from her face, instead of getting rid of it; she just smudged it even more. She stood up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the doors after herself.

Nate sighed and lounged down on the couch. He pulled out the cell phone from his pocket and saw 1 unread message. He didn't bother to read it. Nate put his cell on the coffee table next to him and stared at the white ceiling. Jenny was right – How did it get so messed up?

* * *

"Hi!" Vanessa said smelling the air in the Humphery's loft. "Do I actually smell waffles?"

"Just like always," Dan nodded his head, coming out of his room with a laptop squeezed under his left arm. He left it on the dining area table and walked towards Vanessa.

Rufus was busy finishing the last waffles and putting them on the simple white plates on the kitchen counter that was the only thing between him, Dan and Vanessa.

"Who's hungry?" he finally asked, putting down the spatula.

"I could use some food," Dan said, stroking his stomach.

He came closer to Vanessa and sat down on a chair next to the counter, taking a fork in his left hand, and reaching for the plate with waffles, with his right one.

Vanessa sat down on a chair next to Dan and put her big brown bag on the floor. She tucked her curly dark hair behind her left ear and smiled at Rufus, who was eating his waffles. Vanessa took a look around the loft, looking for Jenny, but she didn't seem to find any sign of her being here.

"Where's Jenny?" Vanessa asked cautiously, chewing on a piece of waffle.

Rufus' face immediately looked immensely sad and concerned. He looked down and didn't say anything. For a second he even looked ashamed of something, but Vanessa had no idea what it was.

"She's not here," Dan retorted in an irritated tone. He quickly glanced at Vanessa and kept picking at his food.

"Well, I see that," Vanessa didn't give up on trying to find out what exactly was wrong. She had stayed at the loft last night waiting for Dan and Rufus to bring home Jenny, but they were gone for a really long time, when she decided to go home and come back tomorrow to see how everything had went. She felt like there was something wrong with the way Dan was acting after he had checked Gossip Girl last night, but now she was sure that there was something really weird going on.

"Where's Jenny?" Vanessa asked again; she was starting to get a little bit concerned. After all she was like a big sister to Jenny.

"She's with Nate," Dan clenched his hand into a fist, angrily putting down the fork on the kitchen counter.

"What do you mean?" Vanessa was confused. "Shouldn't Nate be here too?"

"No," Rufus finally said something.

"She's _with_ him," Dan didn't have to explain. From Vanessa's facial expression he knew that she had understood exactly what he had meant by that.

Vanessa didn't say anything. Honestly she didn't really know _what _to say. Just from looking at Dan and Rufus she knew that they didn't really want to explain anything. She still cared for Nate and for some reason she felt betrayed.

Vanessa took out her cell phone from her bag and hesitated for a second; she knew that she wanted to say something to him – she _had _to say something. She started typing, slowly pressing each button on her cell phone.

"Is it true?" was all she was able to get out of her confused mind, but she knew that Nate would understand exactly what she had meant by that.

* * *

Jenny was rushing down the street as she was holding her phone in her right hand just as close to her ear as possible. Nate's voice, which was coming out of it, was loud and clear; not even disturbed by the sharp noises of New York, Jenny was listening to his nice tone readily.

"Are you honestly telling me that you're ok?" Nate was worried.

"I'm ok Nate. Don't worry," Jenny was trying to hide her despair, "But I'm really late, so I have to go now, ok?" She even forced a little giggle even though she was telling a lie.

"You seemed like a wreck this morning…" Nate didn't even get to finish the sentence when Jenny cut him off.

"I'm perfectly _fine_" she was lying not only to Nate but herself, too. "Look, you don't have to worry about me, ok? I'm fine and I'll be fine when I finally get to see you again this evening. We'll be ok."

"Ok…" Nate sighed.

"See you later!" Jenny said as she hung up and slid her phone into her handbag, trying not to drop the folders in her hands.

She was rushing to a meeting with the potential buyers. Jenny didn't have a choice but to go to the meeting just by herself according to the fact that just yesterday Agnes was nowhere to be found.

Jenny raised her arm trying to catch a cab. She stepped a step away from the street as a yellow car stopped right in front of her. She opened the door while holding the folders in her left hand and supporting them with her head. The folders made a slight sound as they fell out of Jenny's hands and landed on the backseat of the cab. She sat down next to the folders and looked down at her purse when the phone in it started making a buzzing sound.

"Where to, miss?" the driver asked indifferently.

Jenny quickly looked up and glanced at the driver. He was pretty old and looking like he was tired of everything – the mean people, the fast pace of New York and most of all the life itself. Jenny kind of felt the same way, but she had no idea how to express it, so she was just trying to numb her feelings.

"The corner of Park and 74th, please," she faked a smile and the driver faked a lovely smile to her direction, too.

Jenny remembered about her phone in the black handbag, interrupting her thoughts about the driver and her meaningless emotions.

_Where the hell r u? -Agnes_

Jenny stared at the text for a couple of seconds, but then just put her phone back in her handbag. She didn't feel like talking to Agnes right now. She really thought that she could depend on her, but how can she work with someone who disappears for almost two days and totally forgets about one of the most important meetings they will ever have?

Jenny had sacrificed too much to just not take this seriously. She was ready to be a grown up and be a designer, but it didn't look possible with Agnes by her side. But the real problem was that Agnes had all of Jenny's dresses at her place. Jenny knew that she had to talk some sense into Agnes or just drop her for good.

"Miss, we're here," the driver announced making Jenny jump in her seat.

She picked up her folders and stepped out of the cab. Jenny opened her bag and pulled out some money to pay for the ride.

"Keep the change," she said and shut the cab door making a pretty disturbing sound as the door hit the car.

She turned around and looked up at a building that she was about to enter. Jenny took a deep breath and fixed her hair while gently biting her lower lip.

"Ok, let's do this…" she whispered.

**PLEASE REVIEW :)**

**Reviews are a great motivation and I really DO CARE about what you think. I could use some reviews just to know what you like and what you absolutely hate about this story.**


	5. Baby, we're on fire

**I was really sorry for not uploading for such a long time, so here's an another chapter for all of you out there who actually read this crappy story :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the characters featured in this story.**

* * *

A sharp noise woke Nate from his dream. He immediately started looking for his cell phone on the coffee table next to the couch that he was sleeping on. He sat up and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He then rubbed his eyes with his thumb and his middle finger and finally answered his phone with a raspy tone in his voice.

"Yes?" his voice sounded low and tired.

"Hi, honey! How are you doing? Is everything ok?" Anne seemed genuinely worried about her son.

"Oh, mom, it's you!" Nate was kind of surprised to hear from her, knowing how upset she was over this whole thing with his father. "I'm completely fine; you don't have to worry about me, if that's why you're calling…"

"I know that you're fine, honey. Your grandfather took care of that." Nate was surprised about the fact how calm his mother seemed over the phone.

"So, why were you calling me then?" Nate's voice cracked, so he stood up and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"I have some good news!" Anne sounded really excited. "You won't have to live at a hotel anymore. I'm coming back to New York."

Nate was just taking a sip of water when he heard his mother say that. He almost choked and spit the water back in the glass, then putting it on the kitchen counter.

"What?" he was genuinely shocked. "That's great, but how?"

"The Roth's let us to stay in their place while they're in Aspin." His mother started to explain everything. "I know that it's not the best possible choice right now, but still, it's better than staying at a hotel, right?"

"Well, yeah, but what about Jenny?" Nate was puzzled.

"About what?" his mother asked indifferently, like she wasn't anything more than a random girl on the street.

"Jenny.. The girl I'm living with." Nate was getting all serious. "Mom, I really do care about her, it's pretty much my fault that her father kicked her out of her loft."

Nate heard his mother sigh at the other end of the phone. He knew how much she had hated it when he was with Vanessa, and now Jenny, too. His mother was just like Blair – she didn't accept anyone but the upper class people. People from Brooklyn were trash and nothing more in her eyes.

"We'll figure it out," she didn't sound too happy, but she was trying to make Nate think that she was ok with the fact that he was with Jenny. It almost felt like she _had _to keep him not angry with her for some reason. "Talk to you later, honey. Take care."

Nate was going to put his cell into his pocket after his mother had hung up, when he saw the notification about an unread text message on his home screen. When Nate saw that it was from Vanessa, he hesitated to open it just for a few seconds. He didn't really care what it was about, but then again, he could already guess what was in that text. He sighed and opened it – he was right…

_Is it true? –Vanessa_

He didn't know what he should say to her, or should he even answer to her, but for some reason he felt like he owned an explanation to Vanessa. After all they did really like each other… The only problem was that her words were still burned at the back of his mind – _We were never really friends, were we? – _He wasn't expecting much from her after she had found out about the whole thing with Catherine. Yes, she was a free spirit, but this was too low even for Vanessa.

Nate finally made up his mind and started angrily typing an answer to his ex girlfriend.

_It doesn't rly concern u, does it? Just let it go, V. –Nate_

Nate didn't even get a chance to actually get back to the couch when his phone already buzzed, as a sign that Vanessa had already answered him.

_Just meet me at the gallery in an hour, ok? -Vanessa_

Nate wasn't even sure why he did that, but after a little while of over thinking everything, he agreed to meet up with Vanessa. It's not like she wants to have a chit chat with him, there's obviously something important that she has to say, otherwise she wouldn't really want to meet up either…

* * *

"You've been getting a lot of press," a woman in her early forties said smiling at Jenny. "I must admit – I'm really impressed. You have talent."

"Thank you so much," Jenny smiled back. "I've been working really hard for this and I would be truly honored to work with you."

The woman put down one of Jenny's folders on her huge desk and looked Jenny right in the eye. She was being sweet, but serious at the same time.

"What you must understand is that it could be a little bit complicated to work with a minor from the juridical point of view." The woman was starting to get a little bit skeptical. "I must be completely sure that you're determined and ready for this."

"I am, I'm completely sure about what I'm doing. I know what my goals are and I know how to get there." Jenny was trying to kind of defend herself. She wished that her potential manager could look at her as a grown up, not just as a girl with huge ambitions.

"And also, you must realize that we will need your parents' permission for everything, as to the fact that you're not of the age, yet," the woman leaned forward to Jenny, to give her a form that she would obviously have to fill up. "It will be just fine for the beginning to have your parents' signatures on this, and then we can see where we are standing at that point."

Jenny hesitated for a moment to take the form. She knew that this was a huge problem. None, _none, _of her parents would ever sign this or anything else involving her fashion career after what she had done.

"Is there a problem with that?" the woman noticed the sudden change of expression in Jenny's face.

"No, everything's just fine," she swallowed hard and looked down at her knees.

"Ok, let's talk about the actual line then," the woman quickly changed the subject. "Who do you imagine your client will be?"

"Girls like me," Jenny was feeling really excited about this question but she was trying not to show it too much. "Sophisticated girls with a bit of edge who can afford high-end product, and I know these girls and their style because I'm their peer, so that's what makes me unique as…"

Jenny didn't get to finish when she heard a loud voice coming from outside of the office.

"Let me in bitches, or I'll turn this place upside down!" Jenny recognized that voice and that was what scared her the most.

She quickly glanced at the woman sitting in front of her. She was shocked just like Jenny was, but she wasn't terrified unlike Jenny. She knew that just in a second her dream had turned into one of her worst nightmares. She took a deep breath when she heard someone storm in to the office and turned around.

"Well, what do we have here? Isn't this the great bitch, Jenny Humphrey?" There she was – Agnes in all her _glory._

The smell of alcohol in the room was just terrible, there wasn't even a point in questioning the fact that Agnes was drunk and from the look in her eyes, Jenny could tell that this is only the beginning of her grand show, which was still to come.

Jenny quickly stood up from her seat and run to Agnes trying to get her out of the office.

"Agnes you're drunk," she whispered. "Please, you're gonna ruin everything."

Jenny's voice was shaking. She felt like with every single second her dreams were fading away as Agnes was becoming more and more insistent. Jenny was trying to hold back her tears, she was doing just fine with it, but it was just a matter of time when she's going to explode.

"Get off of me, you ungrateful, scheming bitch!" Agnes yelled at Jenny as she pushed her away into the coffee table in the corner of the office.

"That's enough, young lady!" the woman sitting behind her desk stood up leaning on her desk.

She raised her hand pointing to the door and spoke to Agnes in a steady tone, but with raging anger in her eyes: "Either you walk out of this office like a lady, or I'll have to call the security."

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere," Agnes had a smirk on her lips when she looked at Jenny. She came closer to her and that was when Jenny actually looked down at Agnes' hands. Jenny's heart skipped a beat when she saw what was in them.

"You know the thing is that I didn't think that you were a little thief," Agnes dropped all of Jenny's dresses on the floor and started putting them in a recycle bin next to the desk that was in the center of the room. "Stealing my contact list and our whole business? Wasn't that a great idea, huh?"

"Agnes…" Jenny wanted to calm Agnes down, but she didn't really know how to do it.

"Three weeks ago you were nothing. You were a little intern pinning my hem," Agnes was talking as she was pouring petrol on the dresses that were in the recycle bin. "It was _my_ idea to do the fashion show. _I _found the photographer and the models for the fashion shoot and it was also _my _idea for the guerilla fashion show…"

"Agnes, stop! You're completely insane!" Jenny's heart was beating so fast and loud that she could hear it even with Agnes yelling in the room. She tried to stop her, but Agnes pushed her away again, making Jenny fall into the chair next to the big desk.

"Don't even think about leaving this room with these dresses," Agnes kept yelling at Jenny while the woman, who just a few minutes ago was ready to be Jenny's manager, stormed out of the office to call the security.

"These dresses are as much mine as they are yours, and now they belong to nobody." Agnes leaned in Jenny's face to say the last words before she set the dresses on fire.

"What have you done?" Jenny yelled at Agnes, watching the flames take all of her hard work away and turning it into ashes. Tears were streaming down Jenny's face when she stood up and ran out of the office.

She heard the security going after Agnes as she tried to follow Jenny out of the building. She heard them arresting her and she heard Agnes yelling at her that this isn't the end, that she's going to pay for it. Jenny didn't even care to turn around, she just kept running down the stairs, she didn't care anymore; she didn't care anymore at all.

When she got out of the building she felt the cold fall wind hit her skin, when she realized that she had forgotten her jacket in that woman's office. There's no way she's going back in there. Jenny knew that she didn't commit a crime, she wasn't even sure if Agnes did commit one, but she was sure that setting someone's dresses on fire indoors isn't exactly what you call _normal._

Jenny didn't know where to go, she obviously couldn't go home to Brooklyn and she didn't want Nate to see her like this. She didn't know what to do. Jenny walked around the corner and sat on the steps of an old townhouse that looked just as damaged as she was right now. She leaned back on the steps and let the tears stream down her face with black mascara running down her little Bambi eyes. The night started covering the skies of New York and Jenny closed her eyes. She knew that this was the beginning of the end.

**I'm kind of begging you for a review :D I don't even need long reviews, I just really, I mean ****_really_**** want to know what you think about this story, especially this chapter because I made it pretty dramatic, so I want to know if it's too much or do you actually like it :) And also I need to know if people actually care about this story :/ So please, pretty please review :D I will love you till the end of time :D hehe**


	6. Lightweight

**I wanted to thank every single one of you who read and review this story. Every single review is like a hug from a good friend. It's the biggest reason for me to continue and keep going. **

**I wanted to say a special _thank you_ to gonebananas36, who has been with me ever since the first chapter :) I love you and I appreciate your reviews.**

* * *

_The word is that Little J got burned today by no other than her partner in crime. Fashion can be hot as hell but how exactly does it look like when it's on fire? You have to be a phoenix to rise again from the ashes otherwise it's simply the end. Something's telling me that "J Humphrey Designs" will be getting even more attention than we expected._

_ Xo Xo GOSSIP GIRL_

Nate just couldn't stop reading this post over and over again. He was pretty sure that he already knew it word by word. Nate was marching across the room thinking about what exactly it meant. It obviously didn't look like anything good at all and Jenny was nowhere to be found either. She should've already been there when he got back from the gallery where he was meeting Vanessa. Jenny was in obvious trouble and Nate hated the fact that he couldn't do anything about it.

Nate was just about to do the hardest thing at the moment – call Dan, when he heard the door being opened by someone who couldn't have been anyone else but Jenny. He rushed to the door and there she was – completely trashed and wasted. She didn't even look at Nate. Jenny immediately fell to the floor, groggy leaning against the wall. She was shaking and her lips were pretty much just blue to the level where it was looking kind of scary.

Nate could feel the smell of alcohol as soon as he came just a few steps closer to Jenny. Leaning towards her, he could finally see her clearly in the poor lighting but he didn't want to make it any brighter not to make Jenny's eyes hurt. Jenny really did look awful – her hair was a complete mess and her face was looking almost intimidating. Jenny's mascara was all over her cheeks and she even had a bruise on the left side of her forehead.

No matter if he liked it or not, but Jenny reminded him so much of Serena back in the days when she used to party all night and then show up at Blair's place completely wasted. He knew what to do in a situation like this, but he'd wished that he wouldn't have to see a girl in this kind of condition ever again after Serena had got back from the boarding school, but now he didn't have a choice but to remember the _good _old days.

"Mmm…"Jenny growled when he slid one of his arms behind her back and the second one under her thighs.

Nate picked her up without putting any effort into it. She felt so light and fragile in his arms that he was almost scared to touch her. It felt like she could just break any minute if he did something wrong.

Jenny immediately locked her arms around Nate's neck and held onto his body as if he was the only thing that she had left. Nate kissed the top of her head and Jenny leaned her head on his shoulder inhaling his sweet scent.

Jenny felt Nate's arms supporting her numb body as a tear streamed down her face. She couldn't believe how safe she felt in his arms, just for a second she forgot about all of the bad things that have happened to her recently. She felt at home, she felt loved and wanted. Jenny felt a light bump when Nate pressed against the bathroom door with his shoulder to open it.

"Jenny, I'm gonna take off your clothes, ok?" Nate said as he was gently leaning her against the bath tub. He wasn't sure how Jenny is going to react to that, so he warned her before he actually started unbuttoning her blouse.

Jenny didn't say anything; she just lightly nodded her head and leaned it on her shoulder. She couldn't even sit straight; her body was swaying as if she was on a boat.

Nate started slowly unbuttoning her blouse, with his fingers lightly touching Jenny's skin when suddenly he noticed Goosebumps all over her chest. He lightly smiled to himself continuing to undo her blouse.

Jenny's unbuttoned blouse revealed a black lace bra to Nate's eyes. He couldn't understand how the hell she could look so innocent and so desirable at the same time. Nate ran his fingers over her chest and then put his hand on her waist, pulling her body closer to his. Nate laid her down on his shoulder while he was trying to get her out of the grey plaid blouse that she was wearing to the meeting earlier this day. He still didn't have any idea what happened with Jenny today. Besides, what could be so bad that she would actually get so drunk and show up looking like this? Nate knew that Jenny didn't drink at all, that was one of the things that he liked about her. Nate had just pulled out Jenny's arm from the sleeve when she started gagging.

Jenny pushed Nate away and turned to the toilet really fast, letting the blouse fall down on the bathroom floor. Jenny started gagging again and her body was shaking. Nate quickly realized what is going to happen and he ran to Jenny and gathered all of her hair in his hands. Jenny's body was twitching as her stomach started to empty itself in the toilet making a dull noise. Nate was just patiently sitting on the floor next to Jenny and stroking her hair while she was throwing up again, and again.

It really did remind him of the old times with Serena. He would've never _ever_ imagined that he would have to hold Jenny's hair while she was throwing up because of drinking too much. But then again, he would have never even imagined living together with Jenny in a hotel room, and he really would have never imagined being her boyfriend.

Talking about the word _boyfriend, _Nate wasn't really sure if he was one to Jenny. At least she had never called him her boyfriend. And since the day that they moved into this hotel she didn't act like his girlfriend either. They didn't cuddle, they didn't do anything together, and they didn't _even _kiss each other.

Nate was worried that maybe all of Jenny's feelings were just a one moment thing. But then again maybe it was just because of all the other problems that they both had. Jenny's feeble voice interrupted Nate's thoughts.

"Water… I need water…" she gasped and moved away from the toilet.

"Try not to fall asleep, ok?" Nate said as he got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of still water.

Jenny could hear the fridge doors open in the kitchen that was just around the corner from the bathroom. She was feeling a lot better after throwing up, but she was still feeling really dizzy. Even she herself didn't remember everything that had happened after she left the building which she had the catastrophic meeting at.

"Ok, here's your water," Nate handed the glass of water to Jenny. "But don't drink it at first, just wash your mouth with it and then spit it out, otherwise it's gonna be even more disgusting than throwing up."

Jenny took a small sip of the water and swallowed it. Her face was full of disgust and she gagged again when the small amount of water hit the bottom of her stomach. Jenny quickly put her hand in front of her mouth trying to keep it in, but it seemed pretty much just impossible, so she leaned over the toilet and emptied her stomach again. She started breathing intermittently as she wiped her mouth with the top of her hand. It felt like she had thrown up everything that was inside of her, her throat was hurting and her stomach was clenching from the terrible pain that slowly took over her body.

"Nate..." Jenny gasped as she stretched her arms for him.

"Ah, Jenny, what did I tell you, huh?" Nate leaned over Jenny's body and she wrapped her arms around his back, pulling herself closer to him.

Nate picked her up, holding her half naked body in his strong hands. Nate's arms were supporting her bottom as she was holding tightly onto his neck with her head resting on Nate's solid shoulder.

Nate sat her down on the edge of the bath tub and sat next to her. He was gently supporting her body as he slowly began taking of her shoes.

"Nate Archibald, you are my hero!" Jenny announced in a TV show worthy tone of voice, clenching her hand into a fist in front of her mouth, pretending for it to be a microphone.

Nate laughed a little turning Jenny to side when he was looking for a zipper to get her skirt off of her waist.

"Ok, but let's get you a nice bath, ok?" He laughed again when he had finally figured out how to take off her skirt.

* * *

"Are you feeling better now?" Nate's voice made Jenny feel calm, she let her head fall into his lap and lie there without a reason or an explanation.

Jenny then nodded her head as an answer to Nate's question and closed her eyes trying to shut out every slightest sound that was in this room, but her and Nate's heartbeat.

"Everything that used to matter doesn't anymore," Jenny silently let the words fall over her lips.

"Jenny…" Nate sighed looking down into Jenny's beautiful blue eyes. "You can't just give up, this isn't the end."

"No, Nate!" Jenny yelled at him and her teary eyes started to gather up all the pain that was inside of her. "This is the end, I'm done…" Jenny sighed and wiped the tears away from her red cheeks.

"Let it all out, just let it go…" Nate whispered watching the tears fall down on the bed that they were lying in.

He never really imagined how hurt he would be to see Jenny cry, every teardrop from her eyes felt like a knife being stabbed in his back. He wanted to help her, he wanted to make her happy - he just had no idea how...

_The slightest words you said,_

_Have all gone to my head_

_I hear angels sing, in your voice_

_When you pull me close,_

_Feelings I've never known_

_They mean everything,_

_And leave me no choice_

_Light on my heart,_

_Light on my feet,_

_Light in your eyes,_

_I can't even speak_

_Do you even know,_

_How you make me weak_

_I'm a lightweight better be careful what you say_

_With every word I'm blown away_

_You're in control of my heart_

_I'm a lightweight easy to fall easy to break_

_With every move my whole world shakes_

_Keep me from falling apart_

**Please, please, please spend just a little time on writing a review, they really mean the world to me :)**_  
_


	7. It's the wrong kind of time

**A/N I know that it's been a really long time since I last updated this story but I really hope that you're not mad at me or anything. There's just been a lot going on in my life and I've been really busy. Also, I realize that some of you might not like this chapter but I kind of just felt like I needed to also concetrate on some other story lines. I promise you that you'll still get lots of sweet Nate/Jenny moments :)**

* * *

"Mom, I have no idea why you wanted me to come since I'm not going to be living with you in the Roth's apartment," Nate was escorting his mother down the hallway.

"I still don't understand why you refused to come live with me, Nathaniel," his mother was playing clueless, "We both need to stick together during this hard time and maybe then everything could change. We don't really have any choices left."

"Yeah, I kind of noticed," Nate murmured.

"But I'm hoping that is about to change," Anne said in a really excited tone while opening the door to the Roth's refined apartment on the corner of 76th.

Nate carelessly put his leather backpack down on table to his right and casually looked up when he saw the person that he expected the least to be here. In this exact moment everything changed in Nate's confused brain.

"Son, I missed you so much," The Captain gave his son a manly hug, receiving a precarious tap on his back in exchange.

Nate didn't really know how to feel in this situation. Of course, he was happy to see his father but there were too many unanswered questions. Why? How? For how long? His facial expression changed in just a second from excited to angry. His father was putting them all in danger by being here. The Captain was a _criminal_.

Nate glanced at his mother's happy face not knowing what to say. How was he supposed to react in this situation? He wasn't lying to himself; he had no idea what was going on in this sudden _lovey-dovey_ family reunion. Nate knew one thing for sure – he's not going to let his mother be completely ignorant again this time around. He could feel anger bubbling in his stomach, making him sick, just by looking at his mother's sparkling eyes. She didn't even care about the real issues here. His father violated the law and Nate was absolutely sure that the federal institutions were after him.

"What?" Nate was having trouble finding the right words, "I mean...how?"

„Come on," Howard Archibald put his hand around his son's shoulders, „Let's sit down and calmly talk about everything. I know that your life hasn't been exactly easy of what I did but I think I can make things right again."

Nate shook his father's hand off his back and stepped back a few steps. He somehow was feeling like this was all wrong. He shouldn't be here.

„I don't want to sit down!" Nate raised his tone of voice, „Can somebody just tell me what the hell is going on here?"

"Nate, can you just please…" his mother tried to say something.

"No, mom," Nate interrupted her immediately, "I'm so tired of everyone acting like everything's just fine when it's not even close to that. For god's sake! I'm not a child anymore; I want some answers!"

The Captain started stroking his jaw, looking for the right words in his head. He swallowed hard and tried to start a casual conversation with his son.

"I've been living in Dominica," he started off self-consciously. "Before I left we moved some money offshore so I could get a house on the ocean. Weather's always perfect; the people are nice."

Nate was starting to get truly irritated with his father's attitude. It almost seemed like it was some casual fun vacation that he was talking about. His face was glowing and that complacent smile on his face was getting on Nate Archibald's nerves.

"I'm just _so_ happy you're living it up in Caribbean, while we're squatting with no heat in New York." Nate was starting to sound even more and more sarcastic.

"Hear your father out, Nate," Anne's voice was still soft and gentle.

Nate roughly shook his head and swallowed hard. He couldn't even express in words how much he hated this. He loved his parents, he really did but sometimes they were just too much _Upper-East-Side-like_; nothing could ever be more important than a prestigious family and a perfectly faked smile.

"I know how hard your life has been because of what I did;" his father was trying to be sensitive, "That's why I want you both to come live with me. All the money in the world isn't worth it without the two of you to share it with."

"Mom, did you know about this?" Nate couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Yes," Anne nodded her head, "And I'd like to go…"

"Please, Nate." The Captain was feeling really optimistic about this whole situation, "We can be a _family_ again."

"Oh, please," Nate just couldn't take it any longer, "We stopped being a family the moment you chose to run away from your problems. That's not what you're supposed to do, dad."

Nate couldn't help but start to get emotional. His father had no idea how to take responsibility for his actions…

"Things don't have to be like this anymore, Nathaniel," The Captain still wasn't listening, "All you need to do is say _yes_."

Nate was feeling like the walls were closing in on him. He couldn't breathe; he couldn't _think_. How can he ask him to do something like that?

"I can't take this," Nate turned around so he wouldn't have to face his parents, "I need to get out." He quickly picked up his jacket and left, slamming the door with a sharp noise that resounded in his head.

* * *

"I didn't expect you to actually show up," Nate smiled as he saw a dark haired girl sitting down next to him just across the table.

"Well, you told me that this was an emergency, so I didn't really have a choice, did I?" The girl had a contagious smile on her glossy lips.

"Could we please get two black coffees?" Nate snapped his fingers, trying to catch the waitress's attention.

"Sure," she smiled, writing down the order, and left in a fast pace.

"So," Vanessa Abrams took off her jacket while talking to Nate, "What's the problem?"

Nate's face immediately changed. He took a deep breath, swallowed hard and then finally started talking.

"My dad's here," Nate's face looked really confused and that freaked Vanessa out.

"Here?" She almost yelled out the word.

"Well, not here," Nate raised his shoulders, "He's in New York."

"I have no idea how I can help you," Vanessa suddenly turned cold and Nate didn't quite understand why, "Why did you even call _me_?"

"Well, it's not like I have anyone left to talk to," Nate snapped, "You, Chuck, Dan… I've somehow managed to alienate everyone. And I don't really know, I just thought that maybe you could forgive me and actually be there for me," He started collecting his stuff as if he was going to leave, "I guess I was wrong."

Vanessa didn't want him to go. They were friends, maybe dysfunctional, but still _friends_. She couldn't let him just run off; he looked too confused to be left alone.

"Don't go," she suddenly grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry for reacting like that. I really care, I do."

Nate looked down at her and unwillingly put his stuff back down on the table. The words Vanessa had said to him after their break-up were still burned at the back of his mind_, "We were never really friends, were we?"_ He ran his fingers through his golden brown hair and sat down.

"I don't want to sound rude or anything," Vanessa started self-consciously, "But why didn't you just call Jenny? I know that you two are kind of having a _thing_ right now." She said it as if it was something wrong.

"I don't really know," Nate shook his head, "Besides, it's been kind of weird between us. I don't really want to talk about it."

For a second Vanessa didn't know what to say. Maybe it wasn't so nice of her but, hearing Nate say that, was making her feel really good. She still liked him. She just knew that she couldn't really just yell it out like it was completely normal. Vanessa was relieved when the waitress showed up, breaking the awkward silence, that had only lasted for a few seconds but had felt like a lifetime.

"Here's your order," the waitress announced in a sweet tone and put two completely ordinary white cups of black coffee on the table right in between both of them.

Nate gave the waitress a polite smile, just like a true gentleman would do, and reached for the same cup of coffee that Vanessa was aiming at. Their hands collided, making them both freeze for a second. Nate recovered from the sudden occurrence and let go of the cup.

"Just take it," he let out a light chuckle, making Vanessa blush just a little bit.

"So, tell me everything," Vanessa got back to the main reason why they were here. "Why did The Captain come back?"

"This morning he told me that he's been living a really nice life in Dominica," Nate took a deep breath, "and that he want's for me and my mom to come live with him."

Vanessa didn't say anything. She just cautiously nodded her head as a sign for Nate to continue talking.

"I don't know why but I didn't really believe him," Nate paused for a second to take a sip of coffee, "maybe I'm a bad son for doing that but… I contacted the FBI."

"You did what?" Vanessa was shocked.

"I just wanted to finally get some answers and I knew that I wouldn't be getting any from him," Nate was sitting completely still, showing no emotions.

"And?" Vanessa asked, raising her shoulders.

"The FBI knows that my dad is in town," Nate suddenly felt like his mouth was completely dry so he nervously licked his lips, "They think that he's about to commit a crime even worse than fraud or embezzlement."

"Like what?" Vanessa couldn't really get her finger on it.

"Like extortion and kidnapping," Somehow Nate was ashamed of his father's desperate actions. He didn't want for the entire world to think that The Captain was a coward, just because Nate knew how brave his father actually was. It was so obvious that Howard Archibald was just simply terrified to face the biggest mistake of his life.

"I…I don't understand," Vanessa stuttered.

"When my father escaped to Dominica he could only get his hands on enough money to get himself set up," Nate looked down on his hands, cracking his fingers, "He should have found a job, reinvented himself, but instead he lived the way he'd always lived. Now he's got nothing left."

"But… If your father's broke then what's the point of you going to live with him?" Vanessa wasn't doing too spectacular with putting the pieces together, "As much as I know you and your mom don't have any money left either."

"Yeah, but the Van der Bilts doo," Nate looked Vanessa in the eyes, "I don't know what to do, V."

"But…but why didn't the FBI just contact you and your mom themselves?" Vanessa asked.

"They told me that they just weren't sure, if we knew about my dad's plan," Nate was feeling really crushed inside but he was holding up just fine in front of his ex-girlfriend."After all, my mom was the one who helped him escape in the first place."

"Well, there's of course still a chance that the Captain could get away if that's what you want," Vanessa took Nate's masculine hand in hers, "but you could also end it all right now… by turning your father in,"

"This is just too much," Nate clenched his fingers into a fist and put it in front of his mouth, "I'm not supposed to be under this kind of pressure."

"Nate, you just have to listen to your heart and do the right thing," Vanessa now picked his hand up from the table, holding it in both of her palms, "I believe in you."

Nate looked in to her worried eyes. How could she still care about him this much after everything he'd put her through with Catherine and all? For a while he had been always the one who was comforting someone – Jenny had been a wreck these past weeks – but now he was actually the one being comforted. He had missed Vanessa so much.

"I think I'm gonna get going," Nate stood up from his seat putting some money on the table for the two coffees.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Vanessa pleadingly asked.

"No, I think I know exactly what to do," Nate smiled at her while coming closer and closer. He put his hand in her curly dark hair and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

"See you around, V," Nate said, walking out of the café.

"Yeah, see you around," Vanessa silently whispered to herself.

**I could really use some reviews :)**


	8. Breakeven

**A/N I think that most of you are going to have somewhat mixed feelings about this chapter because that's exactly how I feel. I couldn't really drop Vanessa after all; I just feel like she's a pretty important part of the N/J story in the second season. Hope you like it :)**

* * *

Aggressive knocking on the door made Jenny Humphrey jump in her seat. She got up and cautiously opened it.

"Is he here?" Dan asked, not bothering saying hello to his little sister.

"Dan," Jenny seemed to be surprised. The last time she had seen him wasn't all that great.

"Is _he_ here?" Dan repeated his question more strongly.

"Who? Nate?"

Dan nodded his head and sneaked a peek into the suite.

"He's out with his mother, "Jenny retorted.

"Good," Dan pushed the door wide open and came in without an invitation.

"Whatever," Jenny murmured. "Why in hell are you even here?"

"I needed to talk to you," Dan looked his sister in the eye.

"Well, obviously." Jenny rolled her eyes.

Daniel Humphrey sat down on a brown leather couch in the middle of the room and crossed his fingers at the back of his neck. He fixed his beige St. Jude's jacket, breathing out calmly.

"Dad wants you to come home, Jen." Dan licked his droughty lips.

"I… I thought he kicked me out." Jenny swallowed hard. "For good."

"Jenny, don't you get it?" Dan got up from his seat. "He was just hurt that night. He thought that maybe setting you free would give him a chance to offer you a safe home when you wanted to come back."

"But I never did come back." Jenny finished his sentence.

"Look, Jenny, neither me nor dad want you to think that you don't have a home. We don't want to fight anymore, Jen. We just miss you."

"Dan." Jenny got interrupted by her brother's protective tone.

"I said, we don't want to fight _anymore_. You can do your job; dad doesn't care." Dan put his hand on his sister's shoulder. "He just wants his little daughter back home. That's all."

"It isn't really an option anymore."

"Jenny, are you out of your mind?" Dan couldn't believe her words. "Dad wants to let the past be the past and you think that coming home isn't _really_ an option anymore?"

"Calm down, Dan." Jenny sat down stroking her thighs. "I meant _the job. _Fashion isn't an option anymore. I'm done with that hateful business and those backstabbing people that are in it… at least for now."

"Oh…" For some reason Dan was feeling a little bit awkward hearing about his sister's misfortune.

"Look," Jenny was trying to put the right words together. "I really want to come home, Dan, but it really just isn't that simple. Besides I have no idea what's going on with Nate; he hasn't been trying to reach me ever since he left this morning, and that was quite a few hours ago."

Jenny suddenly got disturbed by the silent blubbering of the TV when she heard the Captain's name in a breaking news report.

"Turn it up, Dan." She anxiously pointed at the TV remote.

The lady on the TV screen was speaking droningly, letting everyone know what Jennifer Humphrey should've known a while ago.

"Howard Archibald also known as The Captain was arrested by the federal forces this afternoon in family friend's apartment in New York City. The family isn't giving away any details of Mr. Archibald's arrest but it is well known that he has had legal issues with such crimes as fraud and embezzlement. It has been reported that his son, Nathaniel Archibald, was the one to turn his father in."

"Can you just please turn it off." Jenny covered her face with her right hand.

Daniel Humphrey silently picked up the TV remote, and after turning off the TV, sat down right next to his sister.

"I just can't believe it." Jenny shook her head in despair. "Why didn't he tell me what was going on?"

"Um… Maybe I should go…" Daniel awkwardly stood up from his seat, staring down at his confused little sister. "Just remember the offer is still standing when you two have patched things up here."

* * *

Nathaniel Archibald's face was covered in blinks of blue and red lights. Everything still felt a little bit surreal; such game-changing moments had rushed away in time what seemed only like seconds. He smiled a little bit when the police officer gave him the keys to his family townhouse. It was dark outside but the city lights and noises made it seem like it was a long-lost beginning of a new day.

"Hey, I was kind of hoping you'd be here." Nate turned around as soon as he heard a sweet familiar voice.

He saw Vanessa standing in front of him but that wasn't what really caught his eye. Chuck Bass was just lurking around Vanessa's curly brown hair in hopes of seeing a pleased look on his best friend's face.

"My mom's inside, signing papers in the dark." Nate came closer to the two peacemakers. "Well, we got our house back. Now all we need is some electricity."

Nate dropped his happy smile for a second. He was satisfied of the result but feeling guilty as hell for being such a jerk to his friends. He wasn't usually a proud person but when it came to people like Chuck he didn't want to seem cheap.

"But look, I um, can't thank you enough." He addressed his words to both of them but only looked at Vanessa.

"I'm going to give you two a moment." Chuck smirked and stepped a few steps back, trying to look like he wasn't listening to what the two of them were saying.

"I… didn't want you to go." Vanessa was stuttering just a little bit and Nate found it kind of cute. "And I don't want to admit it… but I still… I still care about you, Nate, in a way that I shouldn't be."

"Vanessa." Nate sighed.

"No, no… let me finish." Vanessa interrupted him as soon as he opened his lips to say something. "I know that me saying this is probably just going to complicate everything between us even more but I just can't keep walking around, pretending like nothing ever happened. Nate, I still have feelings for you, and I know that this isn't the best time for it to be so, because of the whole thing with Jenny but we all know that it's not going to last long."

Nate wasn't able to hold it in any longer. He put his finger in front of Vanessa's lips, muting the sound of her desperation.

"Can you please just save it all before you say something you might regret later?"

"No, Nate…You got it all wrong." Vanessa took Nate's hand in hers and moved it away from her face. "I have no intentions of ruining whatever _relationship_ you have with Jenny; I care about you both too much to do something that could hurt you."

Nate smiled and felt kind of glad to have someone like Vanessa in his life. He sure didn't feel about her the same way he felt about Jenny. Vanessa was a little piece of memory stuck in his heart for forever; sure, he'll love her forever just like he loved Blair and Serena. But the thing about that kind of love is that you feel more in love with the memories than the person standing in front of you. With Jenny everything was different; he _loved_ her. He loved her with all his heart; and what's more important he loved her _now_, at this very exact moment.

"Breakfast at the Gallery tomorrow?" Nate made his offer with a little teasing smile on his lips, making Vanessa fall out of her sad gamma of bittersweet memories.

She didn't answer him. Vanessa bit her lip, feeling like a little girl, coming to a somehow manageable compromise with her mother after a fight about whether or not she could get a sweet, sticky lollipop of her choice.

Nate sighed and hugged her. Peacemaking had always been his favorite part.

* * *

Jenny Humphrey was packing her bag when Nate came into the room; 6 feet tall, golden brown hair in one of the best looking Armani suit's he had, still looking very afflicted and wrinkled.

She didn't even have to turn around to feel his presence in the room. It could've been no one else after the strong but calmingly sweet fragrance of his breath hit the back of her neck.

Nate was just about to kiss Jenny's neck when he saw the half-full suitcase laid down in front of her, hanging a little bit over the side of the bed. He froze in that exact same moment, making each movement of his girl more pronounced and more painful to watch.

"Jenny." His lips barely even let go of each other.

"I saw the news, Nate."

Nate wasn't able to see Jenny's eyes but her shaking voice gave her away. She was crying. He didn't understand why; but then again, he wasn't even sure that there was a single reason.

"Why didn't you tell me…" Jenny's hands didn't stop for a single second, folding the suitcase more and more full.

"I.. I don't know." Nate wasn't lying. Somehow the thought of making a single phone call haven't crossed his mind for the entire day. _But she did;_ she did cross his mind a million times. Her laugh, her eyes, her_ everything. _She always crossed his mind, spreading in his heart and soul like a rash that he wasn't surely aware of. But he was completely and utterly fond of her, oh boy, he was.

"I'm leaving, Nate." Jenny finally turned around to face him, wiping the tears off her face. "This isn't working out… I honestly don't understand anymore why we thought it would."

"Jenny." Nate tried touching her arm but she shook his hand off like it was something completely irrelevant.

"I'm not saying that it's the end.. I just need time, ok?" Jenny's slim fingers wrapped around Nate's hand. She could feel his upbeat pulse under her palm.

"I don't even understand what the hell is going on here." Nate Archibald slightly raised his voice. Just the thought of losing whatever this whole thing with Jenny was, seemed scary as hell. "You never explain anything, Jen. Is this because of your fashion line? I told you from the start that this wasn't a good idea. You can't just simply throw me away now, just because you're not feeling safe anymore."

"It's not that. It's everything." Jenny couldn't keep the tears from streaming down her rosy, puffed cheeks.

"Well, you know what?" Nate kept raising his voice and coming closer to Jenny's face, with his staring right into hers. "It's always going to be everything,. Nobody said that _it_ would be easy."

"Nobody said that it would be this hard." Jenny Humphrey whispered silently. "Dad wants me to come back home and I'm going, Nate."

Nate had chased Jenny against the wall. He felt as helpless as never. Nate's hands were pressed against the wall, holding Jenny in place in front of him. His head fell against the wall right next to hers and he sighed like he had just lost a piece of his heart.

"I love you Jenny." Nate whispered, and after a few seconds of complete silence, raised his head just to find Jenny staring at him with eyes full of shame for not saying it back.

Deep down inside she wanted to say it. She _felt_ it. But just the thought of letting herself be so vulnerable made her scared to death.

Nate took her head in his hands and firmly pressed his lips against hers. He could feel her breath colliding with his, and it made his heart race; the bitterness of the kiss made him feel like his heart was about to explode, tearing it open ad covering his every heartbeat with dark red blood.

Jenny kissed him hard and then pushed him away just as Nate felt a single teardrop rolling down her face.

Just as Jenny closed the door after herself Nate's fingers pressed into his palm. His fist smashed into the wall; tearing his knuckles open and covering them in fresh blood. At least now his hand looked exactly the same as his heart felt.

**Don't worry, guys. Nate and Jenny are nowhere near being over. I'll try to update as soon as possible :)**


End file.
